Weight Loss for the Mind by Stuart Wilde

Author:Stuart Wilde
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: ebook, book
Publisher: Hay House
Published: 1998-05-31T16:00:00+00:00

Realization

Confusion is a manifestation of an unsettled

intellect. The intellect is dominated by the

ego. So confusion is mostly the ego’s chatter

harassing your life. Train the ego to ask

fewer questions and answer most of the

others with, “I don’t know, and I don’t care.”

Chapter Six

6

Frustration comes from expectancy, the emotional outcropping of which is desire. We use past rhythms and experiences, hoping to extrapolate from that the timing of some future event. Sometimes that works and often it doesn’t. Most frustration stems from slotting hopes and plans into preselected time frames that you consider necessary to your happiness and well-being. That’s not a mature way to conduct your life.

You know things usually take longer than you think they will, because it’s easier to think something through than it is to carry it out in practice. Important things always take longer than you expect. That’s because they are usually more complex, and because often the circumstance or condition you desire eludes you until you have matured and grown to where you can not only handle it, but claim it.

The other main cause of frustration is people. We usually try to slot people into patterns that suit us. That is a futile exercise in self-destruction. You can certainly encourage people and hope they might change, but in the end you either love them unconditionally for what they are or you have to agree to walk.

In my early 20s, I owned a clothing company. We hired a great designer who was the mainstay of the corporation. She was indispensable. Exercising power over us, she totally controlled the fate of the company—and she knew it. After a while, her ego kicked in with a vengeance, and she became temperamental, capricious, and unreliable. As she wobbled, the whole company wobbled with her. She caused endless trouble because we had no real control.

From that day forth, I decided I would never suffer the same situation again. Now, everyone in my life is dispensable. I hold no permanent emotion to any situation or person—including family and friends. Everything can be released. Nothing is obligatory. When people know that is your attitude, they tend to be more equitable and realistic. They certainly are more caring, more diligent.

You can work with people, and you can be loving and patient while they grow and respond to positive input. But in the end, if they won’t change or—in the case of an employee—toe the line and support the cause, then you have to let them go. Never get into a situation where someone is so indispensable you can’t get rid of them.

This is especially true of romance, where one tends to give away control more easily. Nobody should ever be essential to you. Falling in love is fun, but don’t let it blind you to the fact that there are five billion characters out there to bat at. Make sure the focus of your affection is constantly reminded that he or she isn’t too vital and that, though you may love them and you

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